Across the street, in the left window.
Oh, damn it, we should have brought binoculars. Right here.
We just happen to have those in the car?
Kinda. Before I met Howie, I liked to keep close tabs on my boyfriends. By stalking them?
No. Stalkers are creepy. I'm just a harmless little girl with militarygrade spy equipment.
Oh, there he is. He's cute, right? Yeah!
Can I see? What, now you're interested? You didn't even want to come.
I know, but you guys make being a crappy friend look fun. Fine.
Yeah, okay, I see him. It looks like they're having a nice time.I wish I could hear what they're saying.
Yeah, I should've brought my parabolic microphone.
Your what? Nothing. Not important.
So you've never been married?
No. I mean, to be completely honest, I've...I've only been in one longterm relationship.
Oh. What happened with that?
That's a good question. After five years, it was just feeling like more work than it should be.
Oh, that's too bad. Was he a neurobiologist like you?
No. He's a theoretical physicist at Caltech.
I love teaching math, but that would be my dream job. What's his focus?
Um... used to be string theory, now it's dark matter. But... let's not discuss Sheldon. Let's get back to you.
Wait, you're not talking about Dr. Sheldon Cooper?
I'm trying not to. Do you know him?
No, but I've followed his work for years. He's a rock star. You've got to tell me about him. What's he like?
He really seems into her. I took a video. I forgot how much fun this is.
Okay, we saw them.
Can we go catch the movie?
Why'd you bring him?
I had to; we're married now. Ugh, I hear that.
I'm sorry, just one more question about Sheldon. Sure, why not?
It's more of a fourpart question, really. When he wrote his paper on supersingular prime numbers, how long did it take?
Um... about an hour and half.
I mean, wow! And you were there to see it?
Yes. Yep. We were on a date. Very much like this one.
I doubt it was like this one. I mean, he's a genius, and I wasn't even smart enough to figure out why my wife always smelled of croissants.
What was the rest of your question?
Do you think you could introduce me to him?
Really? You-you want me to introduce you to my exboyfriend?
You're right, it's-it's weird. No, wait. Do it.
No. I changed my mind. I'd be too nervous. Oh! I don't know what to do.
Are we gonna be much longer? I really have to go to the bathroom.
Right here. 37 minutes left until the deadline.
Someone will show. And no matter what happens, this is still a fun experiment.
Not as fun as the night we blew up grapes in the microwave.
We really have led full lives. Someone will show.
Maybe you don't want someone exactly like you. You know what they say: opposites attract.
Well, by that logic, I should be with someone short, dull and needy, eh?
Not to cast aspersions, but I can't shake a stick around here without hitting that.
You know, I once drove 500 miles to hear him speak at Stanford. I have a DVD of that lecture.
Really? Wasn't it great? Not as a Valentine's present, no.
Well, the next time you watch it, I'm the bloke who asked the question that he said was stupid and obvious.
It was the nicest thing he said to anyone there.
That's, um, terrific. Listen, I'mI'm kind of tired. Can we call it a night?
Oh, gosh. Sorry, I've just spent the whole night talking about your exboyfriend. I'm such an idiot.
No, you're not. Well, maybe not an idiot, but certainly not as smart as...someone we won't mention.
Thank you. But you said you might introduce me to him, I'm free on Thursday.
Hey, hey, they're leaving.
What? Here, give me, give me. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, they're coming right towards us. We got to get out of here.
Okay. Well, wait, what about Leonard?
He and his tiny bladder can take the bus!
Oh, no! She just hit my car!
What are you guys doing here?
Oh! Hey, Ames! What are you doing here? What happened?
Omg! Aren't you Leonard Hofstadter? Yeah.
I saw you speak at Stanford with Sheldon Cooper! Amy, can you believe it? It's Dr. Leonard Hofstadter!
No. Pinch me. It's an absolute pleasure to meet you. Can I shake your hand?
I don't know if you want to do that I was just...Okay, never mind.
Amy, I'm never washing this hand again.
You really should.
60 seconds. This is not looking good. One minute is a long time.
I've been telling women that for 20 years.
45. 45 seconds is plenty of time for a woman to walk through that door and fall in love with me.
You know, probably half that if I break out the old cow eyes.
30 seconds. What if it's Jennifer Lawrence?
What? Oh, that last Hunger Games was not my cup of tea.
You thought she was great in XMen.
Oh, fine I won't shut my heart to the love of Jennifer Lawrence.
Guys, 15 seconds. Maybe she's waiting to show up at the last possible moment.
Sounds like a drama queen.
Oh, no. It is Jennifer Lawrence.
That's too bad.Maybe we did make the test too difficult.
I don't think it matters. Look, Sheldon, I believe when the time is right for you to meet someone, it'll just happen. Okay?
Not because of a test or a Web site,but because...We are the dreamers of dreams!
It's an actual girl, and she's really pretty.
Answer it! All right.
Can I help you?
Um, aare you the physicist that placed the ad on Craigslist? Yes.
Hi. I'm Vanessa Bennett.Sorry it took a while for me to get here.
I was stuck in this boring symposium on atomic spectroscopy when I came across your ad, and it saved my night.
The puzzles were... were really fun.I've never had to translate Klingon into ancient Sanskrit before.
Well... careful, hmm, it's addictive.
Chija''e'vlKub je. Or, as they say in Sanskrit...Ahm asman mateybee tateyva.
And just like that, you're a KlingonSanskrit junkie.
Anyway, II just... I knew I had to meet the person responsible for such a brilliant idea.
And I don't need to tell you, there aren't a lot of men who love physics, archaic languages and flags of the world. I am a bit of a unicorn.
Well, you certainly seem like a special lady, uh, but as you know, you missed the deadline, so thanks for playing.
How could you send her away?!
She was late. And...she found atomic spectroscopy boring. Well, I wouldn't coitus her with your genitals.
Uh, thanks for driving me home. No problem.
I'm really sorry about your car.
Oh, it's all right.If you're free next weekend, I'd love to take you out again.
Um... listen, you're a really nice guy, but I just... I don't think this is working out.
Oh. Okay.I'm...I'm really sorry.
No, it's... at least the same woman that rejected Sheldon Cooper rejected me. There you go.
If I ever do meet him, we'll have that in common. Sure. Heh.
And... he's kissed you and I've kissed you, so if you think about it...Okay, get out.